Is marriage 'for life'?

Bre (No)

People created marriage as a legal construct to build alliances, and the ritual has significantly morphed in its purpose and nature over time. Thanks to modern developments and advantageous alternatives, marriage isn’t just outdated, unpopular, and unnecessary, it may soon become entirely obsolete.

Married life has never been more prohibitively expensive, with soaring education and home ownership costs placing unprecedented strain on individuals and relationships. Normalization of divorce makes it easier than ever to split, citing irreconcilable differences. Many report avoiding marriage out of fear of divorce.

Moreover, technology makes deception and unfaithfulness easier, providing ample opportunities for cheating spouses to discreetly look elsewhere. Anthropologists theorize that because long ago, odds of survival were improved by family rearing in non-monogamous groups, primal notions may be tied to what drives unfaithfulness in long-term marriages, which often become platonic and unsatisfying over time.

The priorities of young adults today differ drastically from those of married couples of the past. Screen-focused, distractible populations are notoriously attention-seeking and oversharing online, consistently being trained to expect instant gratification and constant stimulation. Long-term commitments are no longer the standard for the fleeting whims of the current consumption-driven culture; change of heart-driven decisions is now to be expected—a glaring pattern seen in job durations by generation, for example.

These days, it’s normal to put your own needs before compromise or sacrifice. Independence is now encouraged, and modern couples frequently prefer diverse family dynamics over more limiting traditional gender roles. Additionally, studies show the happiest individuals are childless, unmarried women, and several female centenarians (aged 100+) cite being unmarried as a suspected contributing factor to their exceptional longevity.

Rob (Yes)

During wedding ceremonies, couples promise to be there for each other through thick and thin, no matter what life throws at them. At this point, they both acknowledge that this commitment is not just intended to last a specific period when it’s most convenient but for the rest of their lives, even when the excitement has faded and it’s advantageous to leave.

Marriage also offers partners the opportunity to share memories and experiences, as well as build a life together and raise a family, which provides a sense of fulfillment to both. Furthermore, it serves as a support system for both parties, teaching them to work as a team rather than as individuals. This could explain why married couples experience less depression, anxiety, and stress than their unmarried counterparts.

For couples with children, a stable marriage is good for raising a family, as divorce can be traumatic for children. Children caught up in the divorce of their parents could result in depression, as well as emotional and behavioral problems. 

Marriage also offers financial benefits to the people in the union. They can share assets and expenses and enjoy other benefits like joint tax filing. Research shows that married couples accumulate more wealth over time than single individuals. Additionally, marriage has historically been regarded as a lifelong commitment and a continuation of the family tree. Many ancient cultures and major religions regard marriage as a sacred and lifelong union with no option for divorce. So, while marriage has evolved over time to meet society's ever-changing values, the commitment to lifelong marriage should not. If you do not enter the marriage with the intent that it is a lifelong commitment, perhaps it would be wise to reconsider marrying at all.